Loving Yourself....

1

Appreciate you. Before loving anyone else, you have to love yourself. Learning to love yourself means accepting and appreciating the vulnerability within.^[1] You have many qualities that are unique to you. Learn to appreciate who you are and what you can offer.

• If you have problems loving yourself, then work hard to build yourself up. Work on your self confidence by accepting your past and moving forward. You may feel that things you did in the past will make you unlovable, or that you have too many problems to be lovable. Untrue. Accept the things that happened to you, forgive yourself, and move on.
• For more information, check out How to Love Yourself.

• 2Care about yourself just as much as you care about others. This can be difficult if you find yourself as a natural caretaker or if you have children. Remember, your ability to take care of others increases if you are adequately taking care of yourself.^[2]

  • Don’t let yourself become the last priority; instead, do things do show yourself you care. Treat yourself to a massage or a bath. Do one thing every day that is just for you.
  • This extends to maintaining boundaries and saying “no.” If what you need is some relaxation, say no to getting together with friends.^[3]
• 
  3
  Give gratitude. Grateful people have health benefits and report higher levels of happiness.^[4] Find ways to be grateful for things that surround you, and most importantly, for who you are.

  • Think about the characteristics you have that you love about yourself. Maybe you are very compassionate, generous, or a good listener. Maybe you pick up new skills easily. Perhaps you create beautiful paintings or wire electricity like a pro. Take a moment and be grateful.
• 4
  Have a good attitude. Even if situations seem negative, find something positive, big or small. Having a positive outlook is linked with health and emotional benefits, such as lower rates of distress and having a longer lifespan.^[5] When you start to have negative thoughts, especially about yourself, turn them into positive thoughts.

  • Use positive self-talk to transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
  • Combat thoughts about new situations. Instead of “I’ll mess this up; I’m so foolish!” try “I feel proud of myself for trying something new and putting myself out there.”
  • If you think “I am so bad at meeting people” replace it with “I’m excited to learn new social skills and meet people more like me. I know I can succeed in making friends.”
• 5
  Engage in things that make you happy. Being happy is part of showing love to yourself. Create a state of happiness by doing things that make you feel good. Do things that make your body, mind, emotions, and spirit feel good. Happiness largely depends on putting in the effort to make your life more positive.^[6]

  • You can choose to meditate, practice yoga, paint or draw, kayak, practice Muay Thai or engage in lively discussions. Think about what brings a smile to your face, and go do it!
• 6
  Take some alone time. An important part of self-care is to spend some time alone. It can be difficult if you share a room or have children, but saving some time for yourself is important. Solitude can help you unwind, work through problems, reboot your mind, and discover yourself. Don’t feel guilty for wanting alone time. By spending time alone, you can improve your relationships by prioritizing your happiness and allowing yourself to reset.^[7]

  • It’s important to note that alone time doesn’t mean going on social media. Try to do things that enrich your life and make you feel good like taking a walk or journaling.
  • If you struggle to find alone time, wake up before other people, or spend your lunch breaks alone. Ask your partner to watch the kids for one hour each week so you can get out of the house and spend some time alone.
• 7
  Accept that you don’t need a partner to feel complete. Some people believe that happiness and love can only be experienced through a relationship, or that a bad relationship is still better than no relationship at all. Staying in a relationship that does not work does not respect you or your partner. Solitude is different than being lonely, and it is not worth succumbing to social pressure to fit in or feel complete.^[8]

  • If you are unhappy or impatient being single, make the best of the situation. Pursue opportunities that are difficult to accomplish with a partner or a family. Travel, acquire lots of close friends, and enjoy your perpetual freedom.

Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars (Piano/Cello Cover) - ThePianoGuys

TYPICAL GUYS AND GIRLS.....

The girls will relate to and enjoy any household cleaning items such as pot/pans, iron, mop, vacuum, and will play in the Kitchen to cook and set the table . 

The boys will engage in tools, workshop items, tool belts, lawnmowers, house painting, etc. 

One year, our kinder teachers set up door mirrors placed horizontally, with tables containing buckets of water, shaving cream and popsickle sticks for pretend razors. EVERY boy put the shaving cream on his face and "shaved" . EVERY girl put the shaving cream on her legs and even under arms! We didn't model that it just happened!

INDIANS

Indian people or Indians are citizens of India, the second most populous nation containing 17.50%^[19] of the world's population. "Indian" refers to nationality, not ethnicity or language. The Indian nationality consists of many regional ethno-linguistic groups, reflecting the rich and complex history of India. India hosts all majorethnic groups found in Indian Subcontinent. The diaspora populations with Indian ancestry, as a result of emigration, are somewhat widespread most notably in theUAE, Southeast Asia, United Kingdom, North America, Australia, South Africa and Southern Europe. Population estimates vary from a conservative 12 million to 20 million diaspora.^[1][2]The Indian people established during ancient, medieval to early eighteenth century some of the greatest empires and dynasties in South Asian history like the Maurya Empire, Satavahana dynasty, Gupta Empire, Rashtrakuta dynasty, Chalukya Empire, Chola Empire, Karkota Empire, Pala Empire, Vijayanagara Empire, Maratha Empire and Sikh Empire.The first great Empire of the Indian people was the Maurya Empire which conquered the major part of South Asia in the 4th and 3rd century BC during the reign of the Indian Emperors Chandragupta Maurya and Ashoka alongside their senior advisor, Acharya Chanakya, the pioneer of the field of political science and economics in India. The next great ancient Empire of the Indian people was the Gupta Empire. This period, witnessing a Hindu religious and intellectual resurgence, is known as the classical or "Golden Age of India". During this period, aspects of Indian civilization, administration, culture, and Hinduism and Buddhismspread to much of Asia, while Chola Empire in the south had flourishing maritime trade links with the Roman Empire during this period. The ancient Indian mathematicians Aryabhata, Bhāskara I and Brahmagupta invented the concept of zero and theHindu decimal system during this period.^[28] During this period Indian cultural influence spread over many parts of Southeast Asia which led to the establishment of Indianized kingdoms in Southeast Asia.^[29]

Maratha Empire: Territory under Maratha control in 1760 (yellow), without its vassals.

During the early medieval period the great Rashtrakuta dynasty dominated the major part of the Indian subcontinent. from the 8th to 10th century and the Indian Emperor Amoghavarsha of the Rashtrakuta Dynasty was described by the Arab traveler Sulaiman as one of the 4 great Kings of the world.^[30] The medieval south Indian mathematician Mahāvīra (mathematician)lived in the Rashtrakuta dynasty and was the first Indian mathematician who separated astrology from mathematics and who wrote the earliest Indian text entirely devoted to mathematics.^[31] The greatest maritime Empire of the medieval Indians was the Chola dynasty. Under the great Indian Emperors Rajaraja Chola I and his successor Rajendra Chola I the Chola dynasty became a military, economic and cultural power in South Asia and South-East Asia.^[32][33] The power of the Chola empire was proclaimed to the eastern world by the expedition to the Ganges which Rajendra Chola I undertook and by the occupation of cities of the maritime empire of Srivijaya in Southeast Asia, as well as by the repeated embassies to China.^[34]

During the late medieval period the great Vijayanagara Empire dominated the major part of southern India from the 14th to 16th century and reached its peak during the reign of the south Indian Emperor Sri Krishnadevaraya^[35] The medieval Kerala school of astronomy and mathematics flourished during this period under such well known south Indian mathematicians asMadhava (c. 1340-1425) who made important contributions to Trigonometery and Calculus, and Nilakhanta (c. 1444-1545) who postulated on the orbitals of planets.^[36] The Mughal Empire unified much of Indian sub-continent under one realm. Under the Mughals India developed a strong and stable economy, leading to commercial expansion and greater patronage of culture. This marked a huge influence in the Indian society The Mughal Empire balanced and pacified local societies through new administrative practices and had diverse and inclusive ruling elites, leading to more systematic, centralised, and uniform rule. Newly coherent social groups in northern and western India, such as the Marathas, theRajputs, the Pashtuns, the Jats and the Sikhs, gained military and governing ambitions during Mughal rule, which, through collaboration or adversity, gave them both recognition and military experience.^{[42][43][44][45]}

The Marathas and Sikhs emerged in the 17th century and established the Maratha Empire and Sikh Empire which became the dominant power in India in the 18th century.^[46] TheMaratha Empire is credited to a large extent for ending the Mughal rule in India.^{[47][48][49][50]} The empire at its peak stretched from Tamil Nadu in the south, to Peshawar, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa in the north^[51] and Bengal and Andaman Islands in the east.^[52]

STORY OF LOVE

Until Death do us Apart

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.  Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?  I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.  She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.  When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions.  She didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both try to live as normal a life as possible. Her reason for this conditions were simple.  Our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.  She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.  On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.  Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last-minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.  I drove to office and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.  I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.  At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart”.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband.

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